


Ship By Fangirls

by NanaBC



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: M/M, OOC Kaiba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 01:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanaBC/pseuds/NanaBC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaiba comes to a sudden realization about Joey after hearing a couple of girls talking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ship By Fangirls

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: cheap attempts at comedy; (budding) romance between two pretty boys; use of American names; shameless reuse of a few LittleKuriboh's jokes; sappy OOC sentences.
> 
> This story was written a long time ago and it's pretty silly, bordering on crack and kind of ooc. It was my first fic after a long time without writing anything, and I think I was still a little rusty. Also all I wanted was to see Kaiba and Joey together. Don't let it discourage you though. I got better. I think. I hope. I promise you I'm better now.
> 
> Now I know the Yu-Gi-Oh! community isn't too big here, but I wanted to start posting my fics somewhere else besides "there". I have a few (what was it, 6? 7?) and one ongoing, and after I'm done with it, I'll probably start posting my Shingeki no Kyojin stuff. That is to say, Levi x Eren goodness.
> 
> I did a little editing because I've been calling Kaiba "Seto" for some reason, and although it's his name, it just feels weird. Only Mokuba calls him like that, when it isn't "big brother".

**SHIP BY FANGIRLS**

Returning to class after lunch, Seto Kaiba couldn't help overhearing a couple of girls talking when he heard his name. Of course he was more than used to it, but still it amused him sometimes.

"Yeah, there is no doubt Kaiba-sama is the hottest guy in school. In fact, he's the hottest guy in Japan. No, in the worl—"

He chuckled.

"Alright, I get it, Kaiba-sama is hot. Yeah, I think so too but still… there's something about that Joey Wheeler that makes my knees go all weak."

He gasped.

"Joey Wheeler? No way, he's a delinquent. I mean, look at that hair!"

"Yeah, but his face is pretty cute, okay? Come on, admit it, he's hot."

"Oh okay, I guess he is."

 _The mutt?!_ Surely "who's hot and who's not" wasn't exactly on Kaiba's top favourite subjects, but now it was too late, the idea was already planted in his mind.

 _Hn, alright, so, there's me. Then the—the—mutt; (are they serious?) I suppose Yugi could fit in there too weren't for that hair. Oh, what am I talking about, this is Japan; weird hair is a turn on. Who else? Hmm no one I guess. Was Bakura a guy or a girl? Nah, doesn't matter._ He deliberately skipped even mentioning Duke Devlin, who was so annoying he refused to acknowledge him. And of course any other student in the school who wasn't in any way relevant in his life was completely forgotten too.

_This means… I'm number one obviously, and according to those two scatterbrains the stupid Mutt is number two, whatever, and I suppose Yugi's number three_

He calculated their character graphic charts in his mind.

 

SK

Hair *****

Body *****

Deck *****

Money *****

Height *****

 

JW

Hair *****

Body *****

Deck **

Money *

Height ***

 

YM

Hair ???

Body **

Deck *****

Money **

Height *

 

Holy Blue-Eyes White Dragon, it was true.

Deeply disturbed by the new distressing development, he desolately dashed to the dreadful classroom.

The teacher was talking about something he probably learned ten years ago. He stared at Joey.

Tristan threw a paper airplane that stuck in someone's hair. He stared at Joey.

Yugi paid total attention to the class. He stared at Joey.

Joey smiled at something.

His heart freaking fluttered.

Kaiba shook his head and looked again.

Another smile.

Heart flutter.

Kaiba left the class.

He spent the rest of the day working and thinking about anything on the universe that wasn't Joey Wheeler. The next morning, at breakfast, Mokuba couldn't stop staring at him.

"What?"

"You look like crap."

He sighed. "I had trouble sleeping, I suppose."

"Problems with the company?"

"Huh, never on my administration."

"Then… problems with your friends?"

_What friends?_

Kaiba stared at his brother. "Shut up, Mokuba."

oOo

In school, he tried to fool himself that he wasn't looking for Wheeler, and he even succeeded, until he actually found him. He wasn't sure what to say.

He tried. "But… but you're a dog!"

Wheeler scowled at him. "And you're an asshole!"

"Yes."

"Nyeh?"

"Nothing."

"God, Kaiba. You're such a freak!"

"Well, while my body is composed of an elastomer, yours is made of an adhesive."

"Nyeh??"

"…Nothing."

Leaving Wheeler completely bamboozled, Kaiba turned away and went to class, heart beating almost twice as fast as normal.

_That went well._

oOo

He thought about it, the memory of that pretty face flooding his mind. He realized he didn't feel any hate towards him anymore and figured out he wanted Joey close to him.  But… how to accomplish that?

When class was over, Joey found a rich boy leaning on his locker.

"What? More weird stuff again?" He pushed him lightly to put his stuff away.

"Come to my house with me."

"Yep. More weird stuff again." He put his things inside the locker and was preparing to leave but Kaiba surprised him with a hand on his shoulder. His hand actually, and not to hit him or anything, that's what surprised Joey the most.

"I mean it."

"Now why would I do that? You would probably put me in another of those Saw traps and nobody would ever hear from me again. Thanks but no thanks."

"I won't."

Joey stared at him. For forty seconds or so, and then turned to leave again. "Crazypersonsaywhat."

"You're not a dog."

"What? Hey! Damnit!" Most of the students had left school by now, including most of his friends, so Joey was kind of fearing for his life, alone with this psycho. "Uh, look. We hate each other, remember that? I'm the mutt, the loser and you're the rich boy who loves dragons way more than a person should. I'm gonna go now."

"Joey…"

Joey stopped. _Okay, that was pretty weird. Even for Kaiba. Especially for Kaiba. I should get out of here._

"I swear I'm not going to try to kill you. You know I have no reason to, and I never kill people without a reason. I just want to talk."

Joey sighed, a little surprised by the soft tone of Kaiba's voice, despite the insanity of what he just said, and against all of his better judgments said, "Okay."

He sat quietly in the car for all of two minutes. Then he bombarded Kaiba with all types of questions about the awesome car they were in, and which other cars Kaiba had besides it, and if he could drive it sometime (no). When the mansion was already in sight, he went back to defence mode.

Wordlessly, Kaiba got off the car and entered the house. Feeling butterflies in his stomach, Joey followed him until they reached a kitchen. _Please don't try to kill me. Please don't try to kill me. Please don't—_

He stopped when he saw a can of soda being offered to him. He didn't take it.

"Um, you know, another Kaiba has poisoned me in this house before."

Growling, Seto Kaiba rolled his eyes and drank some of the coke himself. "Here, unless you're afraid to get my cooties."

"Nah, I can handle cooties." Still a little apprehensive, he took a sip and waited. Seeing as he didn't pass out in pain or anything, he continued drinking it.

"So, it has come to my attention that you're hot." Joey choked on the drink.

Undisturbed, Kaiba continued. "No hotter than me, sure, but sort of close. In fact, one of the hottest in school." Still stupefied by the previous statement, Joey couldn't even snarl at that. "And besides being hot, you're also cute. And I can't bring myself to hate cute people. But I only had Mokuba to think about so far. And he's my brother, so it's different."

Finally able to begin to form thoughts again in his mind, Joey stumbled to find something to say. "Wha-wha-what about Yugi? I mean, everybody thinks he's as cute as a baby panda." _What the hell am I saying?_

Kaiba snickered. "Why do you think I haven't killed him yet? But I'm not here to talk about Yugi. As of yesterday, I caught myself thinking about doing non-violent things to you."

oOo

_Somewhere in another country (or possibly dimension)…_

"Alright, and the award for the 'Most Bizarre Confession' this year goes to…"

Drum roll.

"Why am I not surprised? Young billionaire Japanese genius, Seto Kaiba!"

oOo

Back in Japan, Joey Wheeler worried deeply about his virtue.

Kaiba sighed. "Look, don't think too much of it. Right now. I had to say something because it was distracting me. It's a weird feeling."

Still cowering against the refrigerator, Joey thought about what he was listening. "Wait. So you never felt like… this before?"

"No. And believe me, it's pretty peculiar looking at you and not wanting to insult you anymore. I'm not exactly sure what I want to do, but I do know I want to be near you." Finally after all this freakiness, Kaiba allowed himself to blush. "This is it. You can go now, even though I'd prefer you stay."

Still over the top perplexed, Joey had absolutely no idea of what to say. Scrooge McBurns suddenly had the hots for him? _Okay, that's too weird to think about right now. How about the fact that he's a he? I don't like guys, do I? I mean, sure Yugi is really cute and all, and Devlin is annoyingly good looking but… oh, okay, maybe I do. But Kaiba? Kaiba? Wait! What if he's screwing with me?_

"Are you screwing with me?"

Kaiba was fairly sure there were a few choice comebacks here that would leave Joey even more nervous, but he decided to take pity on him. "No, I'm not. I can't prove it to you so I guess you'll just have to believe me."

It should be noted that regarding romantic relationships, Seto Kaiba was a connoisseur on the subject. Of course, if connoisseur meant completely ignorant. Which didn't.

_What the hell is he talking about? Kiss is proof. No, I didn't just think that. No siree bob._

"If you're going to just stand there silently, I'm going to work." He turned to leave the kitchen.

"Kaiba, wait."

He stopped. "Yes?"

"Can I, hmm, can I stay a while longer? I won't get in your way or anything. It's just that suddenly someone dropped a bomb on me and I have to recover before I can go home."

Kaiba narrowed his eyes at him.

"No! I uh… I didn't mean it in a bad way, at least I don't think I did. But you gotta admit this is pretty… heavy. I just wanted to think about it a little."

Kaiba turned around once again. "Follow me."

oOo

Inside his office and already turning on the computer, Kaiba pointed at a couch. "You can watch TV if you want to. Just keep it down."

Not sure if he wasn't inside a David Lynch movie anymore, Joey sat and allowed himself to seriously think about the situation. _Okay, so he's probably right about that whole 'being the hottest guy in school' thing and all, whatever the reasons he was thinking about this in the first place, but it doesn't change the fact that he's already tried to kill me and my friends and has been calling me names ever since we've first met. Would I want… something to do with the likes of him? Does he have like, redeeming qualities? I mean, besides being all handsome and elegant and sexy._ He coyly looked at Kaiba. _Damn handsome, elegant and sexy._

Even with a (currently, he told himself) unavailable object of affection within meters of him, Kaiba was dedicated to his work. He raised his head occasionally to look at Joey, which caused his stomach to do a flip-flop. He worked for another half hour and turned off the computer.

Joey was still looking at the television, even though it was off. He stopped and looked at Kaiba when he stopped in front of him and noticed he was speaking. "What?"

"Want to do something?"

Scared and aroused. Weird combination. "Like… like what?"

A ghost of a smile dashed across Kaiba's face. "Well, it is hot, and I do have a pool. You can borrow a pair of swimming trunks if you'd like."

"Uhh, sure, okay." _As long as we don't need to change in the same room._ They didn't.

Kaiba threw a pair of swimming trunks at his face and left. "I'll be outside."

Upon arriving at the patio, Joey's previous thoughts came to his mind once again. But mostly the sexy part. _It wouldn't hurt to consider, I guess…if he drowns me maybe I can come back to haunt him._

He thought about behaving like an adult but couldn't control himself at the sight of the huge pool.

"Would I bother anyone if I worked on my cannonballs?"

Actually laughing, even if just for a couple of seconds, Kaiba shook his head. "No."

Joey took distance and jumped in the pool, splashing water all around. When he emerged spraying water from his mouth like a cartoon character, with droplets running through his chest, Kaiba started  wondering whether he had become a cannibal, as his mouth couldn't stop watering at the sight. Chasing the thought away, he swam towards Joey, still not exactly sure of what he wanted to say.

They stared awkwardly at each other for a few seconds and Kaiba set a hand on Joey's face, heart thundering.

"Are… are you going to… kiss me?"

Kaiba caressed his face a little. "I'm thinking about it."

"Well, don't just think then." Thundering heart met an equally anxious one as Kaiba closed the distance between them. He kissed Joey softly, a little surprised when he felt his hands on his back. After a minute or so, they parted slowly.

"Kissing is interesting."

Amused, Joey agreed. "I hear it can get even more interesting." Without waiting for a reply, Joey kissed him this time, taking advantage of Kaiba's surprise to slip his tongue in the game. Startled with the new sensation, Kaiba copied him after a few seconds. This time, they didn't part so soon.

Were it for them, they'd probably keep at it all day, but Mokuba's voice separated them once again.

"Hey Seto. Swimming in the middle of the—oh, hi Joey!"

"Hey Mokuba." Joey took a little bit more of distance from Kaiba.

"How long have you been in the sun? You guys are all red and—" Something clicking in Mokuba's head, he blushed himself. "I wish I could stay and swim too but I have homework, so see you guys later!" He left with a bright smile.

"Damn kid. Smarter than I thought."

"Well, he _is_ my brother, you know."

Something that would have made Joey scowl a day ago now made him laugh. "Definitely not modesty."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I was thinking about your… good points. And modesty is not one of them."

"I can pretend I'm not incredible, but that would be far worse. So?"

Joey laughed. "So?"

"What are my good points in Joey Wheeler's opinion?"

"Er… well, you're pretty straight-forward for one thing. That's good, right?"

Kaiba pulled him close once again. "I don't know. You tell me."

Flushing, Joey threw his hands around Kaiba's neck. "Good. Positively good. And… being so pretty…"

Pretending to be offended, Kaiba scowled at him. "Pretty?"

"Uhh… pretty handsome, that's what I was gonna say."

Unbeknownst to one another, they were thinking practically the same thing. How did this happen?

oOo

It was getting dark already when they finally left the pool. Joey's stomach wouldn't stop growling, but he was feeling so at ease in Kaiba's company by now that he didn't even care. Borrowing pants and a shirt, after a hot shower he was ready for dinner. Mokuba had eaten already, so they were alone in the dining room. Finally, Joey asked what was on his mind.

"So… what happens next?"

"Dessert?"

"Kaiba—"

"I'm not even sure about what happened today. Why don't we wait and see?"

Joey smiled, nodding his head. "Sounds like a plan."

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> "And so the dragon fell in love with the dog." oh no i did-n't~
> 
> I had thought about writing a sequel at first, but now I just think this story is too silly to pursue. Kinda fun though, right? Riiiight?
> 
> Mokuba poisoning Joey and Saw traps trying to kill them happened in the manga. And maybe in Season 0 too, but I don't really remember.
> 
> Also… Home Alone 2 reference!11!1!!!i'mold


End file.
